Holiday Flight

I am now officially beginning my two-week long Christmas break. I flew home yesterday afternoon after first driving four hours to the Kansas City Airport. It’s disgusting that it still takes about eight hours travel time even if I fly, but I guess at least that way I don’t spend so much time on the road. Traveling on holidays though, is not what I’d call fun, but my! What an adventure! I find it so interesting to observe people and what better place to do it than in an airport? And there were so many people and so many lines!

When I was standing in line to board the airplane, there was an old couple standing right behind me. The lady was so tottery and worried-sounding. I’m not even sure what all they were discussing, but the man very cheerfully hugged her as he said, "You just hang on to me, and you’ll be ok." Now isn’t that sweet? He then proceeded to explain everything to her... Procedures, reasons, airplanes, and much more. One thing I remember him telling her about is the reason for preboarding. He said, "It’s for people who need special assistance or people in wheel chairs." As he patiently explained this to her, I noted their own frail conditions and was ashamed for being so impatient at having to wait. Even as I’m sure they were, I’m glad I don’t need "special assistance," even though the guy at the ticket counter seemed to think I did.

"David" seemed to just be so glad to help a little ignorant "Amish" girl find her gate (as if I hadn’t been through this procedure umpteen other times). But I obliged him and played along as he told me, pointing so as not to confuse me, that my gate was to my left and "See that long line of people?" Uh huh. "That’s the security line you need to go through" (very slowly and distinctly pronounced so as not to lose me along the way). Oh ok, I solemnly nodded. I found it rather amusing, but with as many rude people out there as there are, I certainly will not complain about overly helpful "David." And in fact, when I found myself standing in the line going to Orlando only minutes later, I did feel slightly more "Amish" than I thought I was.

What I don’t get is that everybody thinks they have to take as much carry-on luggage for the overhead bins as possible and even more, even though the airline stresses "Thank you for not being a bin hog." Now what kind of sense does it make to take a huge old suitcase up top when there’s room for 300 more just like it down below? And most of the women have to take a shopping bag full of Christmas presents. It just doesn’t make any sense, and I’m rather fond of things that make sense!

After a long wait in line, I finally found myself seated in the very first row with more leg room than I normally have. I was one of the first thirty people to board, and we had a full flight. So there were many people to watch as I waited for take-off. There was a lady that came on board the plane whom I was thankful I was not traveling or associated with. I would have been embarrassed, to put it mildly. Southwest has open seating which means first come, first serve (which is how I wound up in the first seat). She picked a seat across the aisle from me, then proceeded to bend down to carefully examine and rearrange her shopping bag’s contents for which there was no more room in the immediate bin vicinity. She had black tights on and a very short skirt, but that didn’t keep her from taking up residence in the one and only aisle. Oh no. "Sticking out" is what I’d call it.

It was rather amusing to see the people in line behind her suck in bellies and become human spaghettis carefully skirting around one very parked rear end. A stewardess finally told her she had to sit down, but no.. She ignored her and went ambling on down the aisle to try to find a home for her very large shopping bag. So the stewardess chased after her, grabbed hold of her arm, and very firmly told her to go sit down and she would help her find a resting place for her merchandise after the rest of the people were boarded. So She sat down, thoroughly
surrounded by one very large shopping bag on her lap and one equally large carry-on luggage item at her feet. Now if it had been me, I would have been trying very humbly to be as tiny as possible, but her? Oh no, she peered up above the back of her seat... Looking, looking, looking... Scanning the entire airplane.

Unbeknownst to her, she had, in the meantime, dropped her ticket out into the aisle which the stewardess was kind enough to pick up for her before it was trampled to shreds. She finally told the stewardess that she "wants to find another seat." She eventually found a happy resting place farther back. I just shook my head in amazement even as a very large man chose to sit beside me and took up 1/4 of my seat plus all of his own. His zipped-up coat immediately ballooned up upon "seat touchdown;" I was tempted to pound the air out of it, sort of like you do a pillow that isn’t in just the right shape. I refrained and instead helped him fish his seatbelt out just like a Christian servant should do. ( When I saw him descending, I had quickly tried to get his seatbelt out so that he wouldn’t sit on it, but I had to get my hands out of the descendant’s way, and so the seatbelt had flopped back down onto the seat. So I waited until he lifted his left "side" up, and I helped him by squishing myself up flat against the window to give him more room to maneuver. Can’t have any of this groping business, ya know. Not on this trip!